Stepping into Nothingness

In one hand she held her teddy bear soaked in blood, in the other she held her pipe, just smoking, doing seldom more. She was thinking about her parents, and how dull and over protective they are, though she was 8 years old, they wouldn't let her have a boyfriend, you know, that cool 16 years old hot kid who got her that stolen pipe. "Age doesn't matter" he always said, then leaned over to kiss her on the cheek and then comes the famous " I love you, babe". When the pipe didn't give her good smokes anymore, she tossed it aside, she didn't know how to stuff it with tobacco and she didn't even have any, she barely knew how to light it. Her dumb parents! Always on work, always so busy making fucking money, you know? who needs any damn money when he has no real parents? Have they been for her when the school janitor went after her in the school's backyard? Have they been with her to put her into bed every night? no, they hired some nanny who didn't even care to read her a bed time story and when they finally get to be in home, they played tough as if that's parenting: To be tough on the kid when he's doing harmless shit in front of you which makes him or her wants to do all the bad shit behind your back just to piss you off. Her mother was a heavy smoker, the six-packs-a-day kind of a smoker, her father too but he didn't smoke as much as her mom, she used to steal a cigarette or two to try them, the sweet little girl wanted to find out why her parents loved smoking these fags more than spending time with her? she didn't understand why. After she tossed away the pipe she gave her unclean teddy bear a last hug, and put it beside her parents' dead bodies, she stabbed them with the pocket knife which her elderly boyfriend had given her. She hated them but she gave each a last kiss on the cheek, and she opened the door of her play room, and she looked back to planet Earth from her outer space. She stepped out of the room into the space and she suffocated to death in her own nothingness, she wasn't really 8 years old, she was sixty when she hanged herself and committed suicide , it didn't matter whether she served time for murder or not, she wasn't really living any life, I mean, she lived to pity herself  without really growing up. But it's left for us to wonder whether her parents turned her into that monster of an unstable child, or did her elder peers transform her by putting these fake thoughts in her mind ? Even if they were true, there's no excuse to kill. But her parents deserved to die anyway, they didn't care for her enough and above all they didn't warn her of self-pity. Self-pity will kill you younger than expected, it will make you step into your own nothingness. There's no coming back from this one.